The Attitude

The following transcript for this episode is a modified version of the one produced by non. The originals are here for the first third, here for the second third, and here for the final third.

Chapter 1
Jason: ... well. I think we just have closing arguments and then it's a lock.
Ally: There he is again!
Renee: He's here all the time, Ally. He's a D.A.
Ally: Well, yes, which brings me back to why can't you introduce me?
Renee: I could introduce you but you want me to introduce you in a way that he doesn't know I'm introducing you. That makes it hard.
Ally: I could go to one of your office parties, maybe.
Renee: Office parties? We don't have office parties. Don't move. Don't turn around. Don't look. He's coming!
Ally: Here? To, to the elevator?
Renee: Block the door a little so it doesn't close.
Ally: How?
Renee: Quick! That'll do.
Jason: Are you okay?
Ally: Um, yeah. Fine.
Jason: Are you sure you're okay?
Ally: Yeah. Just caught me in the eyes...shoulder!
Jason: Hey, Renee.
Renee: Hi, Jason. This is Ally McBeal. Jason Roberts.
Ally: Hi.
Jason: Hi. I actually know who you are.
Ally: You do?
JAson: No, it's a good thing. I saw you in court last week and I asked.
Renee: Ally and I are roommates.
Jason: Really?
Renee: Oh, yeah. Girlfriends. Unmarried.
Jason: Aren't we all? Hard to meet people in this town.
Ally: Tell me about it.
Renee: And this is suddenly my floor. So, girlfriend, um, I'll see you later unless you make plans or something.

Jason: All the way to the bottom?
Ally: Uh, yeah. The bottom. That's where I'm going.
Jason: Ally?
Ally: Yeah?
Jason: You feel like getting dinner sometime?
Ally: [Thank god.] Sure.
Jason: Tonight?
Ally: Oh, um, tonight is... That would be great.
Jason: I'll call.
Ally: Great.
Jason: I'll, uh, call you this afternoon.
Ally: Excellent.

Chapter 2

Elain: It's a big big mistake. If you go home and change before, that tells him that he has the edge and he'll diddle with you.
Ally: But,but this doesn't really flatter me.
Elaine: He asked you out wearing that! This is fine. Do you get all pitted by the end of the day?
Ally: Not to my knowledge. Do I, Elaine?
Richard: Ally?
Ally: Oh!
Elaine: I have asked you not to walk up on her sudden like that.
Richard: I pop, Elaine. It's who I am.
Ally: Yes, well... Do you want something?
Richard: New case, small but possible business behind it. Karen Horwitz. Nice lady. Family money. She's suing her Rabbi. I told her you could handle it.
Ally: Suing her Rabbi for what?
Richard: I never get involved in the legals. She'll be here around 10:00. Thanks. Oh! Oh, that's all I have.

Georgia: What's going on?
Jerry: Georgia... Um... this is a diffcult situation. Um, you know my wife, Robbie?
Georgia: Sure.
Jerry: She doesn't like my working side by side with you.
Georgia: I'm sorry?
Jerry: She's an insecure woman. I mean, what can I say? There's nothing to justify her insecurity, but it's nevertheless real.
Georgia: What's the punch line here?
Jerry: I have nine litigation associates, but only one wife. And part of marriage is accommondating your partner's feelings even when they're unfounded. I'm transferring you to our corporate department.
Georgia: To corporate?
Jerry: Now if you'd prefer tax or real estate, we can work that out.
Georgia: I'm a litigator.
Jerry: I'm sorry.
Georgia: You're sorry? Your, your wife has an irrational jealousy, I get punished for it, and all you can say is you're sorry?

Chapter 3

Ally: I, I don't mean to be rude, Ms. Horwitz, but I just really don't understand.
Ms Horwitz: What's not to understand? My ex-husband's in a coma?
Ally: I understand the coma part. I just, why this makes you want to sue your Rabbi...
Ms Horwitz: I am scheduled to be remarried in three weeks. I have never been so happy in love in my life.
Ally: Aw... Mistletoe.
Ms Horwitz: You meant to say, "Mazel tov." Thank you. So, here's my problem. Though I am legally divorced from Ira, by Jewish law I'm still married, since he got hit by the bus before he could give me the Get. Without the Get, it's sort of a Jewish release, you see, I cannot remarry under Jewish law. Did you follow? I'm happy to repeat myself.

Billy: What if you refuse?
Georgia: He didn't give me the opportunity to refuse. He just said, "You're transferred and I'm sorry."
Billy: I'm sorry.
The Mail Girl: That's all right.
Billy: Ow! Georgia, that hurts!
Georgia: Yeah, I know. It hurts me to think about it. So, do I have a case in your opinion?
Billy: You're the expert on sex discrimination.
Georgia: I, I haven't been fired or docked. Just transferred. The guy has never harassed me. It has never been a bad place to work...
Billy: Still, he transferred you based on... Let's talk to the Biscuit.
Georgia: The what?
Billy: John Cage. He's the star on wrongful termination.
Georgia: I haven't been fired.
Billy: Even so, the same laws could apply.
Georgia: I, I can't believe this. How can this be? This is, this is just incredible.
Billy: Well, I know it's wrong completely, but a few weeks ago you wanted Ally transferred out of litigation here.
Georgia: That's different.

Ally: Just pop it.
Elaine:I don't want to pop it. It could swell. You don't want enlarged pores on a first date. There, I've diminished it.
Ally: What do you mean "diminished it"?
Elaine: I've diminished the pimple. It's not as big, it's less than, smaller, not as much, you know how Richard would put it? It's now a pimple deminimus. You look fab.
Richard: How did it go with Karen Horwitz?
Ally: Okay. I, I'm not sure we have a cause of action. But, but at least the Rabbi agreed to a meeting, and I'm on my way to his Temple to see him.
Richard: Good. And what are you up to?
Elaine: Ally has a date tonight. I'm minimizing her facial flaws.
Richard: Oh, great.
Elaine: I do good work.

Billy: I don't doubt we could make a case, but the damages would be pretty speculative.
Georgia: And I don't really want to sue 'couse, then what? I like this job. I don't want to worry about fallout.
Billy: Which makes me think a quiet meeting with this Burrows guy might be best.
Georgia: Nobody's gonna force this guy's hand. I know Jerry.
Billy: Which is why I'm thinking the "sword in the stone" approach. And there's nobody better than you at that, John. Can I set up a meeting?
John: You may. But first you meet with him again. Establish that your goal is to work it out. You won't be able to resolve it but I do not want him braced for hostility. Then I'll do my meeting.

Chapter 4

Ally: Can't you, you know, forget about the rule just this once?
Rabbi: Can't I forget about it just this once?
Ally: I, I don't mean to offend your religion, but certainly you can make an exception.
Rabbi: We don't do that. We don't just "modify" our faith to make it more popular.
Ally: You don't need to be condescending.
Rabbi: Well, forgive me. I'm not used to people bouncing in here, asking me to adjust Judaism.
Ally: I'm sorry. Um, I didn't mean, um... Look. Suppose we could show that Ira planned to grant the Get, which he did. It's just that he got hit by a bus before he could do it.
Rabbi: I'm afraid that doesn't help.
Ally: Why? These people want to get married and they can't. You know, this is really a silly rule. I'm sorry.
Rabbi: You come into my Temple and say it's a silly rule?
Ally: Well... Yes! I think it is not fair. If two people love each other and they want to get married, and they can't because of this, this silly rule? It's silly! And I don't care if you have the Torah and a bunch of Jewish hoopla to back it up.
Rabbi: Hoopla?
Ally: Well, what if this had happened to your wife? Suppose she'd had a former husband who was a vegetable. You wouldn't be married. Did you ever think of that?
Rabbi: I'm not married.
Ally: And you wonder why.
Rabbi: What? Are you always such a bitchy little thing?
Ally: Bitchy?
Rabbi: Coming in here, insulting the Talmud, insulting me...
Ally: What kind of a rabbi calls somebody bitchy?
Rabbi: I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Ally: 'Cause I'm bitchy? God has no love for the bitchy?
Rabbi: Get out.
Ally: I'm going to tell you something. Just 'cause you wear that little thingie on your head and you have that big heavy scarf, it doesn't give you the right to be vicious.
Rabbi: Vicious?
Ally: Yes, vicious. You are a vicious Rabbi! And I am going to write a letter!

Chapter 5

Renee: You insulted a Rabbi?
Ally: Am I a bigot? It's just this seems so unfair and...
Elaine: I think you're prone to overreactions when the issues involve matters of the heart.
Ally: Thank you Elaine.
Elaine: Karen Horwitz called. She's on her way.
Ally: Oh, great. Oh, how am I going to... I... I'm blotchy. You blotched me.
Elaine: I did not.
Ally: It's red here. Look!
Elaine: I didn't do that.
Ally: Oh, no. My face just happens to get red in the same spot that you minimized a pimple. Look at this red spot! Does that look less than, not as much, reduced?
Renee: Calm down.
Ally: What calm down. I look like Gorbachev. I have a first date tonight with a very good-looking guy, and I look like a dead president from Russia. This is just rich!
Richard: I got a call from the Anti-Defamation League. Did you go sicko on a Rabbi?
Ally: Did I go "sicko"?
Richard: He said you marched into his Temple all anti-Semitic.
Ally: Oh, that little liar. That... I just criticized one tiny little Jewish law and, a big one for Karen Horwitz and, and... I'm sorry. And maybe I was out of line. I, I, I'm so embarrassed.
Richard: Huh, I can tell. Part of your face is turning red.
Ally: Whoof...oh...
Elaine: That wasn't helpful. Is Gorbachev dead?

Jerry: Georgia, put yourself in my shoes. This affects my kids. If my marriage is strained...
Georgia: I'm not saying I don't sympathize. But maybe the first step should be for you and your wife to get counseling. Not to transfer me. This is not my problem.
Jerry: No, look, I'm not going to argue the merits of it. I know you win on that score. I... All I'm saying... If working with a beautiful woman jeopardizes my family, my family comes first.
Georgia: I've retained a lawyer.
Jerry: Georgia, I could have said you were being transferred to help the corporate department. I could have said the partners wanted to thin out litigation. I could have made up any excuse. Do you think I wanted to tell the truth to you? But I did so because I have always been honest with you.
Georgia: And I admire your honesty, Jerry. But it is still wrong for me to get punished for your wife's problem.
Jerry: So, you're suing me?
Georgia: I hope not. I'd like you to meet with my lawyer, though.
Jerry: Fine. Fine.

Chapter 6

Renee: It's already less red.
Ally: It is not. It's just that the rest of my face is more red because I'm so upset.
Elaine: Bad news, good news, and potentially horrendous news, whichever order you'd like.
Ally: Let's go in that order.
Elaine: That would be my choice. The bad news is Karen Horwitz has returned, looking a little like my dog Pupple before we put him to sleep for rabies. The good news is this Jason Roberts really is interested. And the potentially horrendous news is that he's here in person right now to confirm tonight's date.
Ally: He's here? With, with my face like this?
Elaine: I'd tell him it's a Rorschach's test for love.
Renee: Hahaha. That was really good.
Ally: Tell Karen that, that I'll be in a minute. And, and, and tell Jason that, that I'm in a meeting.
Elaine: You can't snub him.
Renee:Just poke your head out. Tell him you're tied up.
Ally: He'll see my face.
Renee: Do it quick!

Ally: Jason, hey!
Jason: Hey, Ally.
Ally: Uh, look, I'm in the middle of a meeting right now, and I really can't get out of it. But I'm looking forward to tonight.
Jason: Oh, great. Um, I was thinking that I might pick you up right here, say, 7:30?
Ally: Fabulous! I can't wait.
Jason: Okay. Um, 7:30 then.
Ally: 7:30. Bye.

Karen: You ruined me!
Ally: Karen, come on in. Elaine, Renee, I'll, I'll catch you later.
Elaine: Would you like me to stay?
Ally: Just this one time? No!
Karen: One of the reasons I came to you is because I regard Jewish customs seriously.
Ally: I tried to gently persuade him.
Karen: I have been invited to leave the Synagogue altogether.
Ally: Excuse me?
Karen: He said it was one thing to sick a lawyer on him, yet another to send somebody who didn't like men, and still yet another to hire a Jew hater. And to wrap all three of them up in one waify little package.
Ally: He called me "waify"?
Karen: Oh, great! Make it about you. I'm the one that's been expelled!
Ally: Karen! Karen! I, I will talk to this, this, this...
Karen: Rabbi.
Ally: Rabbi. And I promise you, not only will you get back into that Synagogue, I will make sure that you get married! And this is a promise from me to you.
Karen: You don't have to worry about the "Get" business anymore. Ira died last night, so I'm free to marry again.
Ally: Oh! He died?!
Karen: In his sleep.
Ally: Oh, well, um, um...
Karen: Mistletoe. Yes, dear. Thank you. But even still, I would like to be married in my own Temple, and I can't very well do that expelled!
Ally: I will talk to Rabbi Stern. I will apologize. And I will make this all go away. I promise!

Chapter 7

Jerry: Could I offer you something to drink?
John: No, thank you. I actually had a small Sprite in your lobby. It refreshed me.
Jerry: Good. Look, I know how, how delicate this situation is and I'm prepared to make it my responsibility to see to it that her partnership track is not interrupted. Her future here is, it's solid. She's a great, great lawyer. I mean, everybody here knows it.
John: I find myself deeply troubled.
Jerry: Well, I, I tried to tell Georgia...
John: It would be unfair for me to negotiate while troubled. I'm less receptive to compromise. I'll call to reschedule.

Billy: And he just walked out?
Georgia: According to Jerry. Is, is this guy all there?
Billy: The Biscuit? He's there. He just works differently. John, how did it go?
John: I suspect intransigence. This won't be easy.
Georgia: I tried to tell you that.
John: Georgia. I want you to think very hard as to what you really want.
Georgia: I want my old job back in litigation.
John: Please don't rush with your answers.
Billy: He works differently.
Georgia: How....

Chapter 8


Ally: So, now I have another meeting with the Rabbi to try to persuade him to take her back into the Synagogue. And that's the thing about me. I make all my clients forget about all their troubles by giving them bigger ones. (Don't try to be funny. I hate myself funny.)
Jason: By the end of the month she'll be remarried and everything will be fine.
Ally: (This guy has future written all over him.) So, um, did you become a DA right out of law school?
Jason: Almost. Worked at the Justice Department for a year. Then I switched. I wanted the trial experience.
Ally: What?
Jason: Um... I was just thinking about something else.
Ally: Something else? About the law?
Jason: Yeah. This 10b-5 stock fraud. You know how thrilling those cases can be.
Ally: Oh, Yeah, I, I get tingles.
Jason: I still haven't figured out a way to prosecute them. I guess the object in those cases is just probably to try to keep the jury awake. I mean, the worst thing about being a D.A. is the sense of futility, I suppose.
Ally: Oh, yeah. (Get that gunk off your face! Oh, thank God!) Um, you, you have, have a little...
Jason: Oh, thanks. I mean, I'm not really in favor of the three strikes law. But it's frustrating, you know?
Ally: (It's all one big giant conspiracy.)

Chapter 9

Renee: So, you're not gonna date him?
Ally: I have a thing about first impressions. I will forever see him as salad dressing face.
Renee: Ally.
Ally: It, it's not a criticism of him. It's me. I need therapy. I know it.
Renee: Salad dressing?
Ally: I might have been able to get past the first little drip, but the second one was a gob, a big gob of gooey, creamy Italian. It will forever be etched on his face. Forever and ever and ever.
Renee: You have such a talent for ruling guys out.
Ally: You just blew off a guy last week for neck hair.
Renee: Well, I wouldn't have if I could have wiped it off with a napkin. The truth is, you missed a giant opportunity.
Ally: I did?
Renee: Yes. You could have blotted his chin. A little touch. Physical affection. And it's maternal. Guys love that. Whenever I'm attracted to a guy, I hope and pray he's got a crumb or something on his face.
Ally: I would love to talk more, but I'm late for temple.
Renee: Alone. Forever. You. Alone.

Georgia: I know my answer may have seemed rushed. But I really do want to stay where I am, doing what I'm doing. I'd like everything to stay the same.
John: And, unfortunately, that is the one option which is unavailable to you.
Billy: Why?
John: We could perhaps get her job back in litigation by pressuring him. But it won't be the same. It'll be different from Burrows' perspective. It will be different from yours. You'd have all the security of a network executive. That is the reality. The reality of suing him is even worse.
Georgia: How so? How so?
John: I'm collecting an errant thought. Should you prevail in a lawsuit, and it's my feeling you would, you'd get money. But as far as future employment, nobody, nobody will hire a pretty young woman, fresh on the heels of a sex discrimination suit. Like it or not, you would be unhirable. Uh, that's not a real word, I use it anyway, which give you an idea as to how severely it applies.
Georgia: Well, then, what do you suggest I do?
John: Accept the transfer. Go to corporate. Call a headhunter and update your resume.
Georgia: What?! That sucks!
John: Well, that's not the word I would use, but it is a real one.
Georgia: I, I'm not going to corporate.
John: Pragmatically....
Georgia: I hate that word "pragmatic"!
John: Georgia, may I take your hand? As a woman, I'd say sue. But I'm not a woman... That's not where I was going but I got boxed in by my poor choice of syntax. Look, you can make a point for womankind. Or you can do what's probably best in your own self interests.
Georgia: I, I want to sue. If it means not working there, fine. I won't sit back and take this.
John: Splendid.

Chapter 10

Ally: I'm normally a calm person. But when you call me things like what? "Jew-hater," "man-hater," and, and there was a third.
Rabbi: "Lawyer."
Ally: Yeah, that in a pejorative way. It's not in me to let that go. It's only because of Karen Horwitz that I have decided to come here conciliatory.
Rabbi: This is you conciliatory?
Ally: Well, you said very bad things about me. Very bad.
Rabbi: You said bad things about Judaism. You called it "Hoopla."
Ally: I did not call it "Hoo.." Oh... I, I just meant that a person shouldn't, you know, be denied the right to get married just because of a little custom that came about before the wheel.
Rabbi: Oh, well, if you'd put it that way I wouldn't have taken offense.
Ally: I'm sorry. I... I, I do these things. I have a habit of saying the wrong thing when I'm upset. I mean, if you could fill this room with everybody I've offended, people would probably think you're a much better Rabbi than you are. And... Here's the deal. When people are together or they're about to get married and something happens to keep them apart, it, it pushes a button. Now, if I came on aggressive, I really apologize. I just hope you don't punish Karen. She's very devoted to you and the Synagogue. She really is.
Rabbi: I understand. I do. But you came here as her agent, acting within the scope of that agency, therefore your actions run to her accountability.
Ally: Where do you come up with these jingles?
Rabbi: I must have hit the bitchy button.
Ally: Two people want to get married,
Rabbi: Oh, I must have pushed ...
Ally: and all you can do is fire of slogans!
Rabbi: the conciliatory button again.
Ally: What the hell is the deal here?
Rabbi: You are a rude, rude little woman,
Ally: If she doesn't get a "Get" you lose funding?
Rabbi: and I'd be vulgar,
Ally: Is common sense pinched off by that...
Rabbi: if I weren't standing so close to The Ark.
Ally: thing on your head?
Rabbi: Did you just say to me something like, "is common sense pinched off                   by that thing on my head"?
Ally: That was a slip. What?
Rabbi: Oh...
Ally: I demand to know what part of me you're laughing at.
Rabbi: Let me just say... Let me just say, I'm going to assume that Karen's hiring of you says something about her. You tell her she's welcome here. And I would be glad to do the ceremony.
Ally: Is this a trick? Is this some sort of trickery, you being nice? (I hate it when I don't know what I've done, especially when it's something good.) I demand to know why you are pleased with me!

Chapter 11

Richard: Hey, John. How's it going?
John: Unacceptable.
Richard: Forgive my snooping. I just had to get a glimpse of your pre-game regimen. Not that I learned much. Are you ready?
John: I am.

Billy: He's in there, waiting.
Georgia: Good luck, John. Sometimes he can scream.
Elaine: The room is ready. The water has been chilled to 41 degrees.

John: Thank you for agreeing to meet me.
Jerry: Uh, look, Mr. Cage, litigators have various techniques for distracting opponents but please. Huh, look, I've been around a long time. Perhaps we could sit closer.
John: I sit here as if to suggest the room is full.
Jerry: But it isn't.
John: The next meeting it will be. These chairs will be filled with your fellow partners. The people whose eyes you look into more than any others for respect, acceptance.
Jerry: They, uh, know the situation, but an excellent idea.
John: Well, they may know the facts, Mr. Burrows, but they've only heard you tell them. My presentation may be less exonerating. My presentation may have the added impact of, well, presentation. One if made in front of a jury would incur embarrassment not just to you but to your entire firm, a firm that, and correct me if I'm wrong, cherishes reputation, flaunts it for recruitment purposes. It would be painful to have these allegations levied against you before a jury in an open forum. It would be excruciating to bear them in a room filled with colleagues who consider you a friend, colleagues who trusted you with preserving the integrity of a franchise they've all committed themselves to deeply. Look at yourself through their eyes, Mr. Burrows, and hear the truth. You hurt a young woman at the bequest of a jealous wife. Your partnership earnings together with bonuses totaled $972,000 last year. That's quite a bit of money, Mr. Burrows. But it's only money. And for a man who prioritizes family, money really is only money. So, it becomes a smaller sacrifice to give some of it to Georgia Thomas, in exchange for your right to, uh, spare embarrassment to your wife, your children, to spare ridicule to a firm devoted to its high brow pedigree of principle. You want to dismiss today's meeting to one litigator's technique. You may do so, Mr. Burrows, but at enormous personal and professional peril. Fortunately you have a very easy out here. Money.

Chapter 12

Ally: Rabbi! Hi!
Rabbi: The wedding is on. In my Synagogue. I'll be doing the service.
Ally: That's great.
Rabbi: Can I steal a second?
Ally: Sure.
Elaine: Snappish!

Rabbi: Listen, I, uh, apologize for laughing back at the Temple. But I have to say... The thing I hate most about being a rabbi is how everyone tip-toes around me. Friends I grew up with suddenly became embarrassed to say a dirty word in front of me. I found it refreshing how you were so willing to be obnoxious. Thank you.
Ally: Oh. Anytime.
Rabbi: Listen, would you like to come to the wedding as my date?
Ally: Oh, God no. I mean... What would God think you showing up with a Methodist?  I.... It, it's just that three weeks are long ways off and I might be in a relationship by then. God willing. My God. I'm sorry. Here I go. I.... Look, I've been having kind of a weird stretch and, and last week I gave mouth-to-mouth to a huge person who thought it was a "Snow White" thing in reverse. And he asked me out. And then I finally met somebody I could like, and he had creamy Italian. And now, I insult Judaism and I get hit on by a rabbi. And something tells me that I just probably shouldn't date, until the world begins to make sense again.
Rabbi: You could have just said, "No, thank you."
Ally: You're right. Ask me again.

Ally: I don't have my mental health. I don't have my mental health. I don't have my mental health. I don't have my....
Georgia: This will probably teach me to lock the door. Don't get up?
Ally: I would, but I'm lacking the words, Georgia. I'm also lacking any feeling in my feet. This happens sometimes when I'm embarrassed.
Georgia: Is there any way I can help?
Ally: No, I will be getting up now. I apologize.
Georgia: Okay.
Ally: It was good to see you.
Georgia: You, too.
Ally: You might think there's an explanation, but you would be wrong.

Chapter 13

Georgia: That thing is giving me a headache.
Billy: Relax, Georgia.
Georgia: Billy.
Billy: Georgia.
Georgia: Billy. Don't tell me to relax. I know Jerry Burrows. When you tell him he can't win, he digs in.
John: Which is why we're all ready for this meeting.
Georgia: Are we ready?
Billy: Yes, we are.

Renee: I'm tired of your excuses, girl. You got all these excuses.
Ally: I don't have any excuses. It's just....
Renee: They're either too fat, too Jewish, too much chin dressing. You go cold on guys 'cause it's your nature. You need a new attitude.
Ally: Would you go out with a Rabbi?
Renee: I might.
Ally: I seriously doubt it. Don't usher me. Oh!  Oh!
Renee: Later.

Jason: Ally?
Ally: Jason, hey, how are you?
Jason: Great.  You're looking good this morning.
Ally: So are you.
Jason: I had a good time the other night.
Ally: Me, too.
Jason: Do you want to try it again some time?
Ally: Um...
Jason: Uh, whatever. We don't need to make plans today.
Ally: Okay.

Ally: Um, don't ask me to explain that. It's, it's just, uh.... You know, actually I am going to explain it. I'm interested, but that salad dressing on your face the other night... The image keeps sticking with me, so I needed to do something to pre-empt it. And now I have. I have wiped the slate and your face clean. Call me. Nice kiss, by the way.

Elaine: You just did that?
Ally: It was so out of my character. I think that's why I enjoyed it.
Elaine: What a story. I can't wait to embellish it.
Ally: What's going on in there?
Elaine: The big meeting.

Chapter 14

Jerry: I thought real hard about your presentation, Mr. Cage. And I don't doubt the efficacy of your delivery. But you know what? I sense a waning public appetite with sex discrimination laws.
John: Do you?
Jerry: Yeah. I think these safeguards insult women, make them look weak, even. I also sense a waning appetite with people who sue who haven't really been hurt.
Georgia: I haven't been hurt? I get flipped over to corporate where I proof-read leverage buyout contracts.
Jerry: You weren't fired. You weren't demoted. Your salary is exactly the same.
Georgia: I got kicked out of my department because your wife thought I was too pretty! You're gonna argue that in court?
Jerry: No. I plan to champion it because I'm willing to bet that a jury won't hate a man that puts his family before his job.
Billy: You put your family before her job!
Jerry: Yes, I did. And here's the bottom line. There are no compensatory damages here. She's not out of pocket. All you have are possible punitives. That means you have to get a jury to not like me. And hey, I'll take that bet.
Billy: We could plead emotional distress.
Jerry: Oh, please do that. I would love it. The beautiful blonde is emotionally distressed. You do that.
Georgia: You think I won't get you, Jerry...
Billy: I will judge you...
Jerry: Don't yell at me!
Billy: I will yell! I might even kick your ass right in this room!
John: All right. Would you excuse us?
Billy: No, I will not excuse you.
Georgia: No, I won't. This is my case, my life!
Billy: I will stay right here in this room.
John: Please just give us two minutes.

Richard: Well, how did it go?
Georgia: Good, I think.
Billy: We did our part.
Richard: The Biscuit will bring it home. Trust me.

John: Hey, interesting, uh, defense strategy. I'm tempted to incorporate that into another case I'm defending where the, where the issue is similar. The appeal to family, I like that. You're to be commended.
Jerry: Oh, thank you.
John: Yeah, I agree, actually, the successful prosecution of our claim here is by no means a guarantee. As you can see, I'm dealing with very emotional clients. I mean, the prospect of losing is no deterrent. They're determined to see this through, whatever the cost.
Jerry: Hm... Yeah, but can they afford the cost? I mean, young kids, mortgage to pay...
John: Well, it's where I'm sort of helping them out. Since Billy's a member of the firm, this case is on the house. And given that, given their outrage, no, we can't count on practicality to ever figure into their thinking. Yeah... And as inventive as that, uh, family defense is, and again, I like it, uh, we both know in the end, you'd probably lose. Yeah, it'd probably look bad. Well, yesterday I got to do my little dance. Today it was your turn to play peacock. Now, it's time to do what we lawyers always do in the end. We pick a number.

Rabbi: Ms. McBeal. How delightful to see you.
Ally: Call me Ally. And that was snide.
Rabbi: I'm sorry. I just had this sudden fear that you now have a client who likes ham, and you're here asking me to waive that stupid little kosher thing.
Ally: Actually, I've come here to ask you out on a date.
Rabbi: What are you up to?
Ally: Nothing. I, I've just been thinking. And see, I am so indifferent to every man I meet these days. It's rare that one comes along who I could so immediately dislike. So, I figure there must be something behind that.
Rabbi: This is how you ask me out?
Ally: Look, they, they say you're not supposed to be honest with men, 'cause the truth is so detrimental to their image. But I am just gonna lay this out. You and I... It's probably like mayonnaise on brisket, but I've decided to make an adjustment in my social life.
Rabbi: What do you mean "adjustment"?
Ally: I have decided to juggle. Instead of waiting for Mr. Right, I'm gonna take chances on Mr. Not Likelys on the theory of "who knows"?
Rabbi: Juggle?
Ally: Yes. And I would like you to be one of the balls I keep up in the air.

Chapter 15

Georgia: It's taking a lot of time.
Richard: Ah, he doesn't like to rush.
Georgia: Oh, he, he doesn't like to rush. You know, it, it doesn't give me great confidence. Don't "Georgia" me!
Billy: I didn't say anything.
Georgia: You were about to! Oh... I, I have put my whole career in the hands of, of, of Bagpipe Biscuit who doesn't even look at people when he talks.
John: $311,000. End of business.
Georgia: Uh, payable to me?
John: Today.
Billy: $300,000?
John: And eleven. $311,000.
Billy: How did...
Georgia: I'm rich! I mean, I can... Student loans! Gone! Uh, car payments! Gone! Billy!
Richard: Gone! I'm kidding. Just kidding.
John: Look, it is conditioned on you being out in two weeks. That is a concern. Even though this is all sealed, there are leaks. And when you're out of a job it is difficult to find a new one.
Richard: She, she, she'll work here!
Billy & Georgia: What?
Richard: She, she'll work here while she looks. We, we could use the talent and she'd be able to interview from strength.
Georgia: Really?
Richard: Well, I mean, if it's okay with Billy. Some men don't like to work side by side with the ball and chain. That's your call.
Billy: I think it's great! Do it!
Georgia: You... Oh, well, you, you, you don't have to do all of this for me.
Richard: Georgia, you're a great lawyer. This is good for us. Helping people is never more rewarding than when it's in your own self interest. Look there, you just got your first Fishism! Welcome, family! Yeah!

Richard: To Georgia. Welcome aboard.
Elaine: Yes. Welcome, Georgia.
Georgia: Oh, thank you. Thank you.
Elaine: And how about our Biscuit?
Richard: To John.
Georgia: Yes, to John.

Renee: So, you kiss Dip-Chin and tell the Rabbi you wanna juggle his...
Ally: Renee, it's the new me. You were right. I have got to start ruling men in. I have Roberts on Tuesday, the Rabbi on Thursday, "Chicago Hope" in between. I have a life.
Renee: This Rabbi is conservative. He can't intermarry, you do know this?
Ally: I don't convert on the first date. And besides, this is exactly my point. I am not looking for a lifetime. I am looking for a fun Tuesday night.
Renee: That would be fine if you were capable of fun.
Ally: Well, I am! Ally McBeal, man-eater. I like it.

Georgia: Ally.
Ally: Georgia.
Georgia: You're the one person I haven't run this by, my joining the firm.
Ally: I think it's great.
Georgia: Well, it's, you know, it's probably only temporary. Just a few months until....
Ally: Georgia. Here's a hot flash. I like you. I'm glad. Just lock the door in the...
Georgia: I will.
Elaine: I have a dance with the Biscuit.
John: Out of courtesy. She asked. I'm not moved by the music.
Ally: Ah.
Billy: All new associates have to dance with me.
Georgia: Oh, really?
Ally: I did.
Renee: Ally, he's mine. They're yours.
Ally: Let's go.

Ally: (They say it's all in the attitude. And mine has changed. And I can tell. This time it's going to last. Maybe even a week.)