Forbidden Fruits

The following transcript for this episode is an only slightly modified version of the one produced by Comet. The original is available here (it's a Japanese website).

Chapter 1

Billy: Sexaholic?

Richard: I found a shrink who'll testify un-categorically that's what he is. Sexaholic. She would like to meet him first.

Ally: He's a US senator, Richard. He's not gonna let us portrait him as a sex addict.

Richard: Oh, please. Politicians love that. Besides, it could even be true. I hear they call his penis the Titanic because over 1500…

Billy & Ally: Richard!

Richard: Bygones.

Georgia: We're not gonna win this by telling the jury he's a sex addict. This is about one affair which led to marriage. We don't…

Richard: Suppose there are other affairs to establish a pattern.

Ally: There's no evidence of any other affair.

Richard: Well, let's get some evidence so we can argue he's sexaholic.

Billy & Ally & Georgia: Richard!

Billy: Let's just focus. We're all a little nervous here. Let's calm down.

Richard: We should argue the summary judgment motion.

Georgia: The Supreme Court has ruled on that.

Richard: They ruled on a president. They didn't go to Senators.

Ally: Richard, if the president can be sued while in office, we're gonna be hard-pressed to say that a senator can't.

Richard: We should still try.

Ally: Richard!

Richard: Ally!

Ally: Richard!

Richard: John?

John: Hm-hmm...

Ally: Okay, we have a real shot on the merits here.

Billy: If we go on arguing a point of law.

Ally: That the Supreme Court has just ruled on.

Billy: We'll lose.

Ally:  Or we're gonna make ourselves more desperate

Billy: Which will hurt our credibility.

Ally: At trial.

Richard: Have you two been passing notes on class?

John: May I make a suggestion? The summary judgment argument was made before the judge alone. There's no risk of looking silly before the jury. 

Richard: Exactly.

Billy: There is the risk.

Ally: Of alienating the judge. You go.

Billy: If we lose our credibility with the judge, it could affect our chances at trial.

John: Which is why we have Richard argue it. With respect to the law, he has no credibility.

Richard: There you go. It's been long since being in court. Yes. Good. I can do it. Good.

Georgia: This is the highest profile case we've ever had. Media will be in the room. Richard is going to stand up and argue points of law?

Once In A Lifetime

The following transcript for this episode is an only slightly modified version of the one produced by Comet. The original is available here (it's a Japanese website).

Chapter 1

When you just give love

And never get love

You better let love depart

I know it's so

Yet I know

I can't get you out of my heart

Ally: I sense the ick.

Renee: Already? You haven't even had a real date yet.

Ally: I know, but I'm feeling the ick, and since he's my boss I don't want to go out with him just to get hit with the ick.

Renee: Then tell him.

Ally: Tell him?

Renee: Tell him.

Ally: How?

Renee: How?

Ally: Renee!

Renee: Look. Why don't you just go through with the date?

Ally: Because then he'll blame himself. I know John Cage. He'll think he did something wrong. If I cancel the date, he'll think he is something wrong. What's better, to blow it or not stand a chance?

Renee: I don't know. But what we both do know, the Biscuit has a nose for the truth. So you'd better be straight. Just tell him he just doesn't do it for you.

Ally: Maybe it would be easier on him just to go on one date. I could be really really boring, and he would lose interest.

Renee: Ally, if you like John Cage as much as you say you do, you know what has to be done.

Ally: I have to dump him.

Renee: You must.

   

Body Language

Chapter 1

Ally: Oh my god. Tell me he's not gonna do this. Tell me she's not gonna let him do this. Why does she wanna marry this guy?
Renee: She hit 30.
Ally: If I ever get that desperate, just drop a big rock on my head.
Wedding MC: Okay, you single guys, come on up! There's music...
Ally: I hate weddings.
Renee: Me, too.
Ally: Why, do you think?
Renee: We're alone.
Ally: Oh, yeah. That.
Renee: We're almost set to the part where they'll play "Shout."
Ally: "Mack the Knife."
Renee: "New York New York."
Wedding MC: We've got Tory with a pair of bouquet. Come on, you single girls. This is a moment you've been waiting for. You know what they say. The one who catches it is the next to marry.
Ally: Well, I guess we shouldn't be rude.
Renee: Guess not. I hate this part.
Ally: Who comes up with these customs, anyway? Why does the whole room think we're rushing to get married?
Bride: Cindy, Mindy, Aunt Marge. This is for you.
Ally: Just get it over with.
Renee: Please.

The Blame Game

Chapter 1
Flight Attendant: Water, sir?
Passenger: Thanks a lot.
Flight Attendant: You're welcome.

Ally: I hate flying coach!
Georgia: Do you want to switch seats?
Ally: It's okay. You would think that since the client is paying, we could fly first-class.
Georgia: Well, it's Richard Fish paying, I guess.
Ally: What was that?
Georgia: I don't know.
PILOT: Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the bumpiness. We are experiencing some trouble with one of our engines. It should be corrected momentarily. There's no reason to be alarmed, and... What the hell!
Flight Attendant: Stay in your seats. Don't anybody panic!

Cro-Magnon

Chapter 1
Ally: I love sculpting. It's healthy to end your day doing something artistic.
Renee: I agree. Um, can you turn around a bit? I can't see your meat whistle.
Ally: Renee, you're not supposed to talk to him.
Renee: Well, you are not talking much?
Ally: I'm lost in my art air.
Renee: Whatever. Hey, I'm thinking of being sick on Friday. You wanna go skiing?
Ally: I can't. I'm in trial. A battery. Son of a big client.
Instructor: Okay, Geoff. You can take a break. Glenn?
Renee: Wait. I haven't circumcised him yet.
Instructor: Cute.
Renee: Speaking of cute.
Ally: Renee, you're not supposed to look at him either.
Renee: We're not supposed to look at him?
Ally: Not like that.
Instructor: Everything okay over here?
Ally: Fine.
Instructor: You?
Renee: I might need a touch more clay.

Silver Bells

Chapter 1
Ally: I can't sing.
Elaine: It will just be backup. I thought you. Maybe Georgia.
Ally: Backup singers for you, like Ikettes?
Elaine: It's a Christmas party tradition. Everybody sings. We all sing at the Christmas party. We rent up the bar. We have a during-the-day for rehearsal.
Richard: Ally.
Ally: Richard, Elaine says everybody sings at our Christmas party.
Richard: We can discuss it later. Right now something big ??? You. John Cage. My office. Quick. Thanks.
Elaine: Ally, it's just that there's been a buzz about you being so lugubrious. I was hoping you could squash it with a number. I'm partly looking out for you here.
Ally: Thank you, Elaine. You touch me.
Elaine: Ikettes!

Boy to the World

Below is the revised version of the transcript written by かめっ

Chapter 1
Hang all the mistletoe
I'm gonna get to know you better
This Christmas, and as we trim the tree
How much fun it's gonna be ...

Ally: (I love Christmas. All the things that bug me during the year don't bug me at Christmas. People smiling, me smiling ... The star's the best part. Dad said that you reach to put the star onto the tree, you're really reaching for your own star in life. Maybe she won't notice.)
Renee: Eh! It's come to this -- you're humping the tree!
Ally: Damn it! Renee, just help me down! Just help me down.
Renee: Wait, wait.
Ally: Oh ... okay. Oh ...
Renee: He-he-he. You put this tree up too early! It's going to dry out!
Ally: I like to enjoy Christmas for a whole month, Renee. And besides, if you wait too long, you can't get a good tree.
Renee: I'm surprised you even like the holidays. It's the loneliest time of the year.
Ally: I've booked myself solid. Don't worry. I've got Dip-Chin tomorrow night, and ... ugh. I'm already starting to get that ick on him.
Renee: Already?
Ally: Yeah. He's too white-bread. Hey, I got an idea. Come with me.
Renee: On your date?
Ally: I'll rub your feet after.
Renee: You, me and Thousand-Island Face? No thanks.
Ally: Oh come on, Renee. It'll help if I'm getting the ick, and you can help take that pressure off some of the day.
Renee: Bring that little Biscuit along, and I'll go.
Ally: John Cage?
Renee: He's cute.
Ally: You and John Cage!
Renee: Well, you'll never know. A little yuletide catnip might be fun.
Ally: Ugh. Renee, he's a little weird.
Renee: You forget I like weird?
Ally: How, how has it come to this? We're smart women. We're fairly attractive.
Renee: I'm even hot.
Ally: Yes, you're even hot. So, why aren't we with hot men?
Renee: Here they are!

Christmas tears
Will decorate my tree
There'll be no shining tinsel...
Ally: Excuse us for a second. Is this a setup?
Renee: I was about to ask you the same thing.

Icicles
Within my heart will form
'Cause your arms aren't around me
To make my Christmas warm

Renee: Are we in for a whole month of this holiday crap?