Body Language

Chapter 1

Ally: Oh my god. Tell me he's not gonna do this. Tell me she's not gonna let him do this. Why does she wanna marry this guy?
Renee: She hit 30.
Ally: If I ever get that desperate, just drop a big rock on my head.
Wedding MC: Okay, you single guys, come on up! There's music...
Ally: I hate weddings.
Renee: Me, too.
Ally: Why, do you think?
Renee: We're alone.
Ally: Oh, yeah. That.
Renee: We're almost set to the part where they'll play "Shout."
Ally: "Mack the Knife."
Renee: "New York New York."
Wedding MC: We've got Tory with a pair of bouquet. Come on, you single girls. This is a moment you've been waiting for. You know what they say. The one who catches it is the next to marry.
Ally: Well, I guess we shouldn't be rude.
Renee: Guess not. I hate this part.
Ally: Who comes up with these customs, anyway? Why does the whole room think we're rushing to get married?
Bride: Cindy, Mindy, Aunt Marge. This is for you.
Ally: Just get it over with.
Renee: Please.

Chapter 2

Ally: That is the last bridesmaid dress I ever wear.
Renee: Until the next wedding.
Ally: I swear I'd as soon be out in public in my pajamas. You know, sometimes, Renee, it feels like we're the only ones not getting married.
Renee: Because we are.
Ally: You know, Georgia and I are working on this case right now trying to allow a woman to marry this guy who's serving a life sentence. He hijacked a plane and blew up two buildings.
Renee: And your client still wants to marry him?
Ally: Oh yeah, she started writing letters, she started talking to him, and, you know.
Renee: She hit 30.
Ally: Seriously, Renee, what this thing about being married, why do you think women...
Renee: We're brainwashed. The first stories we hear as babies, Snow White, Cinderella, all about getting a guy and being saved by the guy. Today it's The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Pochahontas. All about getting a guy.
Ally: So basically we're screwed up because of...
Renee: Disney.

Georgia: The Supreme Court has defended inmates' right to marry. It's not a loser.
Billy: But he's maximum-security.
Georgia: Also a model prisoner. He was 20 when he hijacked that plane. He has changed circumstances.
Richard: Maybe you should third-chair, John.
John: I'm in smile therapy this morning. Otherwise I'd be glad to.
Billy: You're in smile therapy?
John: Yes. I won't sit here to be disparaged.
Richard: Nobody's disparaging you, John. But what exactly is smile therapy?
John: I'm prone toward sternness, facially. There's some anecdotal evidence that suggests that smiles aren't simply inside-out conduct. The inverse is applicable as well. I smile because I'm happy. I'm happy because I smile.

Ally: People have a constitutional right to be married. Whether or not...
Opposing counsel: The man is a maximum security, violent prisoner.
Ally: He's not violent. He just blows things up. And the Supreme Court has said inmates...
Opposing counsel: Marriage for inmates is subject to restrictions.
Ally: As long as it's the least restrictive means to achieve the goal. And what the goal is to preventing marriage is a mystery, to begin with.
Opposing counsel: These are the questions best left to the superintendent of the prison.
Ally: Oh, right, let the warden decide it. For him, the Constitution is a big ship. If two people love each other, courts should stay clear until they get divorced.
Judge Smart: Look, Counsel, this guy's a lifer. As a person I'm incurable and romantic, but I'm upholding the superintendent's decision. If you wanna reverse it, you'll have to go after him.

John: Smile therapy for the whole firm?
Richard: Well, if it really can breed happiness. We've never really recovered from the sexual harassment stuff. If smile therapy could help, why not?
John: I'll set up a session.
Richard: When we started up this firm, we wanted a place where people could be happy, right?
John: Indeed. Preaching to the choir.
Richard: Great. Set it up. Oh, John, pants!

Chapter 3
Superintendent: I'd love to be able to accommodate, Ms Thomas, but the truth is I don't have discretion.
Georgia: The judge said you did.
Superintendent: The only court-recognized exceptions which allow a prisoner to marry are: if they have a child, they don't, or if you're pregnant, which I understand she's not.
Ally: Okay, how about permitting conjugal visits?
Superintendent: We can't. No conjugal for non-married prisoners and, married or not, no conjugal for maximum-security prisoners.
Georgia: You seem open to finding a way.
Superintendent: I don't enjoy being intransigent. But here in the prison world, rules are everything.

Janie: It isn't fair. It isn't.
Ally: Janie, can I ask you something? What would you get being married to him that you can't get now? There's no inheritance. There's no insurance to speak of. And you obviously won't be parents. Why?
Janie: Because I love him. Isn't that enough to want to be married?
Ally: It is.
Richard: I'm sorry I couldn't help but overhear, probably because I was eavesdropping. Bygones. Janie, I could be wrong, but the main reason women seek to marry is to basically make it much harder for their man to get away. You latch onto him with legal strings, the ball and chain, he's caught. You already have that. He's in prison, not going anywhere. He almost literally wears the ball and chain. Not only will he not be having sex with other women. He won't be having it with you. In a sense, you really are married.

Chapter 4
Don't
Don't
That's what you say

Billy: She didn't buy it?
Ally: ???
Billy: What kind of woman falls for a guy in prison?
Georgia: That is exactly our problem, Ally. We need to be able to make a judge and a warden understand that because they react actually the same as Billy.
Ally: So as mine, actually. I mean, the guy's serving a life sentence.
Richard: Oh my god.
Billy: What?
Richard: There. Bar. Her!
Billy: Is that really her?
Richard: I hear she's in town.
Ally: She's hanging out at a bar?
Billy: Where are you going?
Richard: It's Janet Reno. Like I'm gonna sit here?
Georgia: Oh, God help us now.

Richard: Ms Reno, my name is Richard Fish. I'm a big admirer. You have no idea. Might I ask you to dance?
Ms Reno: Actually I…
Richard: What's that on you? Looks like there's some soot or something.
Ms Reno: Where?
Richard: Just here. I can get it.

Billy: He's fingering her wattle!
Georgia: He's hitting on the Attorney General!

Richard: A little smudge. I can get it.
Ms Reno: Have you got it? You're tickling me.
Richard: Almost, almost.

Georgia: Uh-oh. Look.
Ally: Oh, boy.

Richard: All that brouhaha over a few calls from the White House. Really, what's the deal? I'm sure Billy's called those 900 numbers. Can you imagine, "Hi, I'm the President. Can you come over and hum a little hail to my chief? Uh-oh, that's it. I can… Just a little… Whipper! Hi. Janet Reno. Whipper. Hey. Hi. Judge. Attorney General.
Whipper: And this bit is the special prosecutor?
Richard: Funny. Bygones. Spritzer?

Billy: He's gonna get it now.
Georgia: He should.
Ally: The Whip and Janet Reno. Now there's a catfight.

Richard: She's Attorney General. It was firm business. I can even deduct the cocktail.
Whipper: I have no doubt your business is firm, Richard. But I'm not really interested in your explanations. 

Ally: Uh-oh.
Billy: What?
Ally: I know that body language.

Richard: Like I'm really gonna try to hit on somebody who could have me attacked by the FBI…
Whipper: Richard, might you forget yammering and pause just for one brief second?

Ally: Stick a fork in him.
Georgia: Really?

Whipper: You're done. We're done. See you.

Ally: Told you.
Billy: Oh, boy.

Chapter 5
Renee: I understand she broke up with him, but I don't quite get why you wanna move to Switzerland.
Ally: Because everything is neutral in Switzerland. People are even emotionally neutral in Switzerland. All they do is drink hot chocolate and work in banks. Nobody gets hurt, and they get to lead nice lives right up to the point where they shoot themselves.
Renee: Richard and Whipper. Another set back for love. And you take that personally. See you tonight, David.

John: This is really where the smile can be the most effective. When you're upset.
Richard: I don't wanna smile, John.
John: Yeah. Let's try a small one.
Richard: Whipper dumped me last night. I don't feel like smiling. If that troubles you, go stand on a railroad track and take a moment.
John: That remark troubles me. This is one of the ways you can use the smile to deal with upset.
Richard: You're a cracker.
John: Unacceptable.

Ally: Richard.
Richard: Not now.
Ally: Richard. She has every right to be angry.
Richard: Come on.
Ally: Richard, you were having relations with another woman's neck. I mean, how could she not feel betrayed?
Richard: It didn't mean anything. That's all it was. Just a pretty throat.
Ally: Richard, if you want Whipper back, don't deny what happened last night. Why don't you call her and see...?
Richard: I won't talk to her. The message on the machine says if I even come near her, she'll file a restraining order.
Ally: You want me to talk to her? No, I'm actually not such a disaster when it comes to other people's lives.
Richard: Yeah.

Georgia: Solitary confinement?
Janie: Yeah. Evidently he went nuts. He picked up a trash can and threw it in the general vicinity of the warden. Now he's in solitary confinement, and I can't even visit him.
Ally: What's wrong?
Georgia: They stuck him in solitary.
Janie: Why can't he be married? What state interest could possibly be served? He's throwing trash cans today. He wasn't doing it yesterday. Can we make the argument that marriage could be good for the inmate, which could be good for the prison, which could be good for the whole damn state?
Georgia: We tried, but…
Billy: We could go back in again to court.
Georgia: With what new evidence? Trash can?
Billy: Judge Smart is all mood. Some days he says yes. Other days he says no. It's all how you catch him.
Janie: Then go again. Please.
Ally: John! Um, excuse me.

Ally: This smiling therapy, do they talk about how it works the other way?
John: I beg your pardon?
Ally: Well, instead of how it makes you feel, do they ever get into how it makes the other person feel? What am I getting at? Smiling, flirting, that kind of thing. Using it to negotiate, to get something that you want…
John: Well, that skill is innate to every woman, isn't it?


Chapter 6
Whipper: I know it seems silly. But given Richard's fetish, when he touches her neck, it's no different than a man kissing another woman. The truth is that it's worse than that.
Ally: Okay, okay. But given that it is a fetish, that would mean that he's equipped with less self-control than other men.
Whipper: I thought about that idea, but it's…
Ally: But it's what?
Whipper: It hurts a little more because it's Janet Reno.
Ally: It does?
Whipper: Yeah. I mean, see, I'm prepared to see him smitten with a pretty model or a young piece of eye candy. But Janet Reno is smart, and she's powerful.
Ally: So you see her as a threat? Whipper, do you have any idea how beautiful you are?
Whipper: This doesn't leave this room.
Ally: Of course.
Whipper: A lot of time, particularly lately, he's been making up excuses not to go to bed when I go. You know, he's got to stay up late or do some work or catch up with some stuff. You know how it goes.
Ally: Do you think he's doing that to avoid having sex with you?
Whipper: I don't know. But a few times that I come out of the bedroom, I've caught him.
Ally: Caught him doing what?
Whipper: Watching CNN, C-SPAN, when she was on.
Ally: Janet Reno?
Whipper: And one night I came out, when she was on Nightline, and he was… I couldn't be sure, but I think he was touching himself. He's got something for that woman.

Richard: I'm sorry I snapped at you.
John: I know. You've had trouble with Whipper before, but you've never suggested taking a moment on a railroad track. What is it about this time?
Richard: This time we actually broke up. When a couple's been together for a few years, a couple with commitment problems, few couples don't return to make another go without an agreement on one issue.
John: Marriage.
Richard: Let's face it. I can tell her I love her until I'm blue in the face. It's gonna keep coming straight back to that. What do I say? Waiting for the Red Sox to win a World Series?
John: Well, if she accepted that, you'd be safe. Why don't marry? You love her.
Richard: John, over 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. More than half. Add to that our age difference. Add to that me. Do I strike you as a person who has a stronger or lesser chance, statistically?
John: If you wanna get back with her, you've got to go to her.
Richard: Right now I wouldn't know how.
John: I'll show you.

Chapter 7

Janie: So, basically your strategy is flirting?
Ally: Sort of.
Renee: Well, don't you think Georgia should do it?
Ally: Why?
Renee: Well, she smiles.
Ally: I smile.
Renee: I know. But… Never mind.
Ally: No no no. What?
Renee: Ally, you have a natural pout.
Ally: I do not.
Renee: You're right.
Ally: I have pouty lips, Renee. I don't pout. I have a radiant smile.
Renee: I know.
Ally: You know, it's just because I don't walk around smiling all the time. I have an infectious smile.
Janie: I know. I've seen it.
Ally: And I don't pout.

Janie: Listen, Ally. Why did you bring me here?
Ally: Oh. Well, um, aside from whatever goodwill I can generate with my…
Renee: Radiant smile.
Ally: Janie, I know that you love him. But is there anything that you can think of that I would be able to say a little to a judge? I mean, do you really need that piece of paper?
Janie: Maybe not. But I want it. I want it.
Ally: Okay. Why?
Janie: Because when I make that vow to love him forever, I want it recognized not just by him and me but by our families, by the world.
Ally: But you can't physically be together…
Janie: Why do people keep saying that? Emotionally. I sit at my piano at home and I sing to him every night. So what that he's not physically in the room?
Renee: She sings to somebody she's not sure even exists.
Ally: What?
Renee: "Goodnight, My Someone."
Janie: Oh, you sing "Goodnight, My Someone"?
Ally: Well, it's just a pro-tem song until I meet somebody real. What do you sing?
Janie: "For Your Love."
Ally: "For Your Love"? Could you?
Janie: Sure.

For your love
I would do anything
I would do anything
For your love

Chapter 8
Richard: So you stand here, feet shoulder-width apart?
John: And I see myself.
Richard: It's kind of a cheat using the mirror, isn't it?
John: I see myself first as I am, then how I wanna be. Then I hear the bells.
Richard: Bells?
John: Tolling. For me. And they fill me. Watch. Did you see me change a little?
Richard: Some.
John: You try it. Look into yourself deeply. See yourself talking to Whipper. Winningly.
Richard: I'm not quite, uh…
John: Keep staring. And then when you feel it, go to her.

But we all get foolish
That's why I repeat
For your love
For your love
I would go anywhere
I would go anywhere
I would go anywhere
For your love

Chapter 9
Elaine: Whatever he says, laugh. Men love to be thought as funny. Except when they are in bed. And, you know, touch his arm whenever. And, you know, in a pinch, I sometimes allude to not wearing any underwear.
Ally: I won't be in that pinch.
Elaine: Are you sure that Georgia shouldn't do this? I mean…
Ally: I smile!
Janie: Hey, Ally! Ally, hi. I just couldn't sit at home and wait. I think it's hormones. I'm probably ovulating. I've been walking walking…
Ally: I'll be back in an hour. And if you wanna wait, fine. Maybe you could… Um… Did you say you were ovulating?
Georgia: Hey, what's up?
Elaine: The client's in heat.
Ally: Elaine!
Georgia: What?
Elaine: Hey, Richard. He's off to woo Whipper. It's an exciting day.

Judge Smart: Hello.
Ally: Hi. Thank you so much for taking the time out to see me.
Judge Smart: I'll be needing that.
Ally: Excuse me?
Judge Smart: My hand.
Ally: Oh. That was a good one. "I'll be needing that." Oh, so I've been looking at the pictures of your children. And they're so cute.
Judge Smart: Thank you.
Ally: And this older one, he's so handsome. I guess he has some of his daddy's genes.
Judge Smart: He's adopted.
Ally: And your wife.
Judge Smart: You're flirting.
Ally: I am. Here's the thing. Without belaboring how much my client wants to get married, I am asking for a court order to allow her fiance to make sperm deposits.
Judge Smart: I beg your pardon?
Ally: Janie's ovulating. It's not unprecedented for prisoners to make deposits into sperm banks. That's what I'd be looking for here. But the exception being that my client would be the bank. Now if she gets pregnant, well, that would constitute a compelling state interest to allow them to get married.
Judge Smart: Who thought of that?
Ally: Me. Now you told me yourself you were incurably romantic. This would allow for a romantic result without overiding the superintendent's discretion.

Chapter 10
Richard: Hey.
Whipper: Hey.
Richard: I really appreciate you agreeing to see me ??? But…
Whipper: What?
Richard: Nothing. Just I've never seen you in a turtle neck before.
Whipper: Oh, yeah, well, I decided not taking chances.
Richard: Whipper, I thought long and hard about this. And I've decided you need to hear something you might not care to hear.
Whipper: ???
Richard: You locate way too much of your self-esteem in your neck, and it's hurting you. You have perfect breasts, the ripest rump on the eastern seaboard. Your stomach makes a washboard jealous. Your hair flows like an untamed river. You are more than just a pretty neck. You need to know that.
Whipper: You left out my eyes.
Richard: Oops.
Whipper: And you left out my lips and my soft, soft Midas-touch hands. And my thighs. And most of all, nookie, you left out my knees.

Chapter 11
Janie: I know I should be happy. I guess I'm still a little stunned.
Georgia: Me, too.
Ally: This only works, of course, if you want children.
Janie: I do. But how do I get to…
Ally: Well, basically, we give him a cup, and we give him some privacy, and you're waiting at a clinic with a turkey baster. And since you're ovulating, you have a decent chance. And if you do conceive, then you're qualified under prison rules to marry him.
Janie: Okay. I guess I have to tell Michael.  
Ally: Well, another snafu in there. See, since he's in solitary, he's only allowed to see his lawyers.
Janie: So I can't have contact with him, but I can get pregnant by him?
Ally: This is why I'm into law. Nuance.
Elaine: No hot bath to carry your eggs. And I would breathe deeply as well. Stress can be a prohibitor.
Ally: Let's get an appointment with a fertility clinic. And, Georgia, you and I will go see Daddy.

Billy: This is insane.
Ally: We're lawyers, Billy. That's our job. Distort the law beyond our common sense. Should we bring him a magazine?
Billy: You're gonna go to the prison and give him a piece of tupperware?
Ally: Metal isn't allowed. Plastic is okay.
Elaine: Who gets to burp it?
Ally & Georgia: Elaine!
Billy: Quiet!
Georgia: Why does it bother you?
Billy: It doesn't bother me, it's just… Prisoners' rights aside, there have to be limits. This strikes me as nuts.
Elaine: It's not tupperware. 

Chapter 12

Ally: We know this is a bit of a… You know…
Georgia: Shock
Ally: But it seems to be the only way.
Michael: This isn't the reason to bring a child into the world.
Georgia: No, it isn't. But Janie said you both want to have a child anyway.  So…
Michael: So I just take a cup and…
Ally: Yep.
Michael: I'm not too great under pressure.
Ally: Oh, well, um,  there's no time limit. And Mr Yorkin said you can bring reading material in there. Maybe periodicals with pictures would help.
Michael: This all seems kinda crazy.
Georgia: Because it is.
Michael: Okay. This might seem untoward, but before I go back in there, would you sort of stand back a little and just let me look at you?
Ally: I most certainly will not.
Georgia: Forget it.
Ally: I think you should just think of Janie.

John: It was perhaps wrong to objectify her as a means of redemption.
Richard: I was trying to be diffusive.
Elaine: And you didn't ??? about her hair?
Richard: Untamed river. It's so damn confusing.
John: Don't you think it was ill-conceived to venture there and praise her breasts?
Richard: John, there's one thing I know. It's women. When they are beautiful, they need to be thought of as smart. When they are smart, they need to be thought of as beautiful. Whipper is a judge. For God's sake, she's a legal scholar. Of course she wants her breasts praised. What was Janet Reno doing on that barstool? Looking to rehash Waco? Am I wrong totally?
Elaine: What women want is commitment, Richard.
Richard: That's such an overused trait generalization. They need commitment. What does it say about women? 
Elaine: That they'd rather be monogamous. Unlike men who wanna procreate with anything that moves.
Richard: Exactly. You said that. Not me. Don't call me chauvinistic.

Elaine: He has problems.

Mr Yorkin: I expect you two are feeling quite ingenious today.
Ally: We're only doing this because of you, Mr Yorkin, and the rules.
Mr Yorkin: Yes, I suppose you make a nice little news item. ???
Ally: They love each other. Are you that cynical? I realize that you're not surrounded by the best of mankind, but maybe you need to get out more.
Mr Yorkin: The thing is he's never getting out.
Georgia: Are you married, Mr Yorkin?
Mr Yorkin: Yeah.
Georgia: Love you wife?
Mr Yorkin: Very much. But I live with her. We wake up side by side everyday. I go home to her. These two people live in totally separate worlds.
Ally: Why are you insisting that it all make sense? I mean, if you wanna be practical, would any marriage make sense? They love each other, Mr Yorkin. And it's not just enough. It's everything.
Mr Yorkin: Give it to me.

Chapter 13

Ally: When you were in law school, did you daydream of doing a big murder trial?
Georgia: Yeah.
Ally: Did you ever daydream about becoming a judge?
Georgia: Sometimes.
Ally: Did you ever wonder about sitting in a prison waiting for a warden to come to bring out with a cup of semen?
Georgia: My dad always said, education will take you anywhere you want to go.

Mr Yorkin: All right, ladies. Your client has responded.
Ally: Great. Take it.
Georgia: You take it.
Ally: I'm on the phone. Take it.

Ally: We should be there in 20 minutes. Less if we don't hit traffic. No, no. We are hurrying.
Georgia: Oh, I think you were supposed to have turned left there.
Ally: What? Damn it! No, no, no, no, no. Not you, Janie. We'll be there. You just relax and ovulate. Okay, how do you feel about one-way streets?
Georgia: Normally, I'm a fan. But not with a cop watching.
Ally: What?
Georgia: Just, just relax, to get pulled over. Relax, relax.

Court clerk: She may be in session for a while.
Richard: Well, I'll wait.

Ally: Hello, Officer.
Male Officer: License and registration, ma'am.
Ally: Absolutely. I suppose you wonder what I was doing going down a one-way street. I was going one-way.
Male Officer: Have you been drinking, ma'am?
Ally: No, I don't.
Male Officer: May I see the container?
Ally: No.
Male Officer: Ma'am?
Ally: Officer, even if I had been drinking, I promise you I was not drinking from this.
Male Officer: Step out of the car now, both of you. And give me the container.
Ally: I really think we should focus on that one-way street.
Male Officer: Out now, or I'll place you under arrest.

Male Officer: Give it to me.
Female Officer: What is it?
Male Officer: I can't tell. You know what it is?
Female Officer: Oh, yes.
Male Officer: What?
Female Officer: Let's put it this way. Everything that a man truly has to offer a woman is in that cup.

John: The cheeks should actually reach for the corners of your eyes. The theory being sort of a kinesiology between the cheek and spirit.
Billy: It's ridiculous.
Elaine: And it can cause wrinkles.

Chapter 14

Whipper: It's okay. You came back for the other knee?
Richard: Hey, you kissed another man not too long ago, Chaney, in the restaurant. Let's not start point-fingering.
Whipper: ??? something completely. Don't you dare try to be comparing that to Janet Reno's wattle.
Richard: You're not upset about Janet Reno. This is about you and me.
Whipper: Damn, right. You and me.
Richard: Well, here I am. You and me. Let's deal with it.
Whipper: Your deal.

Georgia: You've changed your mind?
Janie: Not about wanting to marry him, but I…
Ally: Do you have any idea of  what we've been through, Janie?
Janie: Yes.
Ally: We've been out on a huge ??? We almost got arrested.
Janie: Even if I as much want a child with him, harvesting a child as a means of circumventing prison rules… It's perverse.
Georgia: Listen. I completely understand you're having second thoughts. But we've got to decide. This stuff is not gonna stay fresh forever.
Janie: I know you must think I'm the craziest girl on earth.
Ally: I'm definitely moving to Switzerland.
Georgia: Could have at least given it to that woman cop.

Clinic staff: I'm sorry. This gentleman said it was urgent.
Ally: Mr Yorkin?
Mr Yorkin: You didn't do it yet?
Ally: No, no, Janie decided not to.
Mr Yorkin: Oh, oh, well, what I came to tell you was that you don't need to.
Janie: Excuse me?   
Mr Yorkin: Well, I was thinking about marriage and things, and well anyway I decided in my discretion to let you marry Michael.
Janie: Really?
Mr Yorkin: You're gonna have ten people at the ceremony, tops, because of security.
Janie: Oh, my God! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Mr Yorkin: You know, well, you really should thank them.
Ally: Congratulations!
Janie: I can't believe this. I don't really know what to say. Will you two be my bridesmaids? What?
Ally: It's just that I made a bet that I would never ever ever be a bridesmaid again. Ever. But sure.

Richard: You're a bit of a liar, Whipper. I've been honest about this.
Whipper: Oh, I'm a liar?
Richard: Maybe that's too strong. Let's say truthfully challenged.
Whipper: No, go ahead. Smack me with a Fishism.
Richard: ??? between the eyes. Three weeks in this relationship, remember when you said? Part of what you liked in me was I wouldn't stick. It was you who didn't want to be cluttered down. Have you forgotten that?
Whipper: ??? you are forgetting that we both fell in love after that, Richard? If two people prioritize space and fun and freedom, that's fine. But when they fall in love and still do that, it's pathetic. Now I will tell you you are right about me being a liar. You are right. I'm gifted when it comes to lying about myself and pretending. And you know what? I could still live with it. That's fine. If you wanna keep holding and stay all back and protected, that's fine. Go ahead and do that, Richard. But I will not have you disrespect me.
Richard: I'm ??? say this once. I love you more than I've ever loved anybody. Ever. The thing with Janet Reno's neck was a cheap thrill. And I'm sorry. I never meant to disrespect you. A few weeks ago we stood in this room. I tried to gloss over my commitment-phobia by saying just, "Let's get through Christmas." Remember?
Whipper: I remember.
Richard: Well, here I stand today. And I'd like to say this to you. Let's just get through Valentine's Day.
Whipper: Richard…
Richard: Yes.
Whipper: If I didn't know you loved me, I'd kill you.
Richard: What?
Whipper: You're wearing a cup?
Richard: I couldn't be sure if you wouldn't knee me again.
Whipper: You're wearing a protective cup? Richard!
Richard: It's really not that funny. I don't think it's that funny.

Chapter 14
Minister: From this day forward, for the rest of your natural life.
Janie: I do.
Minister: And you, Michael, take this Janie to have, if not hold, for the rest of your natural life?
Michael: I do.
Minister: By the powers vested in me by the common law of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you, Michael, and you, Janie, husband and wife. You may kiss. And I suggest you make it a good one. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce Mr and Mrs Michael Young.

Billy: Another man says "I do," and goes after prison, huh, John?
John: Indeed.
Billy: Kidding.
Georgia: Ha-ha.

Ally: We'll be in court, you know, to demand the conjugal visit.
Mr Yorkin: I never had a doubt.
Ally: Thank you.
Michael: Thanks from me, too.
Mr Yorkin: Just be a good husband, and don't stray, Michael.
Ally: Congratulations.
Michael: Thanks.
Georgia: Congratulations.
Michael: Thanks. Secret?
Ally: Um… Sure.
Michael: From now on, I only think of Janie. But before when I went back in there with a cup...
Ally: I don't wanna hear…
Michael: No, no, no. I didn't imagine myself with you or with you. I kind of imagined you two together with each other. See, when I was a teenager, I used to kind of fiddle with my sister's dolls, Barbie and Midge.
Ally: I guess I should be happy that I'm not Skipper.
Georgia: Yeah. Yeah.

Ally: Had to call them all down here.
Renee: Had to be in public.