Cro-Magnon

Chapter 1
Ally: I love sculpting. It's healthy to end your day doing something artistic.
Renee: I agree. Um, can you turn around a bit? I can't see your meat whistle.
Ally: Renee, you're not supposed to talk to him.
Renee: Well, you are not talking much?
Ally: I'm lost in my art air.
Renee: Whatever. Hey, I'm thinking of being sick on Friday. You wanna go skiing?
Ally: I can't. I'm in trial. A battery. Son of a big client.
Instructor: Okay, Geoff. You can take a break. Glenn?
Renee: Wait. I haven't circumcised him yet.
Instructor: Cute.
Renee: Speaking of cute.
Ally: Renee, you're not supposed to look at him either.
Renee: We're not supposed to look at him?
Ally: Not like that.
Instructor: Everything okay over here?
Ally: Fine.
Instructor: You?
Renee: I might need a touch more clay.



Chapter 2

Ally: Maybe it was some kind of implant.
Renee: Everything in that class has to be natural.
Ally: Did that look natural to you?
Renee: It looked supernatural. You're gonna finish that sausage or just wave it around? We got home at 9 o'clock, went to bed about 11, got up an hour ago. That was about 3 hours total and all we've done is talk about it.
Ally: Well, given how big it was.

Georgia: You are lying!
Ally: I'm not.
Georgia: Are you sure it was real?
Ally: Well, I didn't get up and biopsy it, Georgia. But I have seen almost enough to know.
Georgia: Oh boy. I want to sculpt.

Billy: Hey. Um, Georgia. Listen. John and Richard are going ??? Friday night to watch the fight. You wanna come?
Georgia: Sure. Somebody's eye socket burst. I hate to miss out.
Ally: Oh wait. What is it about boxing? I mean, do you really like it?
Billy: No. I just pretend.
Ally: Do you like boxing?
Georgia: No.
Ally: Do you?
Elaine: Love it.
Ally: Case closed.
Elaine: That disparaged me.
Georgia: Billy, I've been thinking of taking up sculpting.

Richard: Ally, this is Austin Gil and his son Clint. You met Clint before, right?
Ally: Oh, at arraignment.
Clint: Hi.
Richard: Austin has some concerns over entering a plea.
Austin: Concerns? I'm angry.
Richard: Angry! Yes. It's me who's concerned. He doesn't wanna enter a guilty plea.
Austin: I don't want him having a record. What happens when he applies to medical school and they see he has a criminal record.
Richard: They'll tell him to apply to law school. Kidding. Seriously. Bygones. Ally?
Ally: The only way to avoid a record is try it and win, which... Well, six people saw him throw the punch.
Austin: Look, look. It was a fight. That's all. A fight at a party. Things like this happen with kids.
Ally: Yes. Well, if he hadn't broken the other kid's cheekbone.
Richard: She'll give it some thought. We all will. There's got to be another alternative. When she goes back into her office to concentrate, we're always amazed at what she comes out with. Don't let us stop you, Ally.

John: Oh, I apologize. I dropped my Papermate.
Ally: Ah.
John: Actually I'm not here on a work-related matter. I was wondering whether you would like to have dinner this weekend.
Ally: Sure.
John: With me.
Ally: Yeah. I assumed that part. Um, I'd love to. How about... How about Friday?
John: Friday is fight night. Would Saturday work?
Ally: Fight night? Do you really like boxing?
John: Yes.
Ally: No. Really?
John: Yes.
Ally: Two hundred pound men try to pulverize each other and this entertains you?

Richard: John! Excellent. I'd like you to assist Ally on the Clint Gil's assault case. The father's angry, and I'm concerned. The boy just hit somebody flat out. Anything come to mind?
John: Bygones?

Chapter 3
Billy: That's what you're wearing for a sculpting class.
Georgia: Jeans and old sweater. I don't want clay on my suit?
Billy: I know why you have a sudden interest in sculpting. Naked men.
Georgia: Not true.
Elaine: It's one naked man with a trunk like Dumbo's.
Billy: Excuse me?
Georgia: Elaine!
Billy: I know what this is about. This model has a big ...
Georgia: Nose.
Billy: I don't want you going to this class.
Georgia: I beg your pardon?
Billy: You heard me.
Ally: Hey. You ready?
Elaine: She can't go.
Georgia: I can go.
Billy: Georgia!
Georgia: Billy, it's a class!
Billy: This model has a big penis. That's why you take sculpting.
Ally: I signed up before I saw it. Thank you.

Uga uga uga chaka...
I can't stop this feeling...

Billy: Ally? You okay?
Ally: What do you mean am I okay?
Georgia: You sort of went to a different plant for a second.
Ally: Oh.
Elaine: That's where she's from.

Georgia: You know, I'm gonna just say this and pretend I didn't. I am married and off the market. But if I were single, under the heading of "Life is short"...
Renee: Shorter than that?
Georgia: I would just ask him out.
Ally: ??? notice how married off the market people are the bravest.
Georgia: I'm serious. Life is supposed to the sum total of different experiences, right?

Uga uga uga chaka...

Renee: What's the matter?
Ally: I thought I heard something.
Renee: Damn it. I cannot do this guy according to scale. Gravity keeps screwing it up.
Ally: I gotta go.
Georgia: Already?
Ally: Yeah. Trial tomorrow.
Renee: Wait a minute. I thought you were gonna plead out.
Ally: Change of strategy. Trial.

Chapter 4
Renee: Something going on with you?
Ally: Well, I'm not sure. I'm having these hallucinations or something.
Renee: You mean your fantasies?
Ally: No. Not fantasies. They are more like hallucinations.
Renee: Oh yeah? Of what?
Ally: Well, it... I don't know. It... I better start preparing for tomorrow.

Uga chaka uga uga...
I can't stop this feeling
Deep inside of me
Girl, you just don't realize
What you do to me
When you hold me
In your arms so tight
You let me know
Everything's all right

Chapter 5
Clint: Ally.
Ally: Hey, Clint. You ready?
Clint: My dad's inside with Mr Cage.
Ally: Oh good.
Clint: So we're going with the straight not guilty.
Ally: Yep. I mean, there are risks. But we understand them, right?
Clint: Right. So let's do it!
Ally: Let's do it. (He's 19. What's wrong with me?)

Prosecutor: Did you challenge the defendant any way, Dwayne?
Dwayne: No sir.
Prosecutor: Did you have any dialogue with him at all?
Dwayne: Not really. He told me to leave. I said this was between me and her. That was about it.
Prosecutor: Her being your ex-girlfriend for two years.
Dwayne: Yes sir.
Prosecutor: And the defendant's date that evening.
Dwayne: Yes sir.
Prosecutor: And let's be honest. You were upset with Lisa Ryan, weren't you?
Dwayne: Yes. We had just broken up and two days later she's kissing him at a party.
Prosecutor: And then what happened?
Dwayne: Basically as I said, we had words. He told me to back off. I continued to have words with Lisa. And he suddenly booed me and hit me.

Ally: You called her a slut?
Dwayne: I was upset.
Ally: And didn't Clint Gil repeatedly ask you to step back?
Dwayne: He said, "Back off." How many times? I don't know.
Ally: And Mr Stokes, if you were on a date, and a man came up to your escort and verbalized her, calling her a lier, calling her a slut, what would you do?
Dwayne: I'd ask him to stop.
Ally: But suppose he didn't stop. Suppose he just kept on verbalizing her.
Dwayne: I'd walk away.
Ally: And leave her there?
Dwayne: I'd take her with me.
Ally: So you'd leave the party?
Dwayne: Probably.
Ally: So the bully would win out then.
Dwayne: I wasn't a bully at that night.
Ally: What surprises you to know, Mr Stokes, that a woman, if called a slut, would appreciate a little chivalry from her escort?
Prosecutor: Objection.
Judge: Overruled.
Ally: Your Honor, I'm single. I date. And to think I should be in a situation where my chastity is impugned.
Prosecutor: Objection.
Judge: Sustained.
Ally: Your Honor, I'm sorry. I find myself troubled. I'd like to take a moment.

Chapter 6
Renee: Ha! You took a moment. Oh. My chastity impugned. I should give you a foot rub just for that.
Ally: You'll be paying me the whole 50 bucks.
Renee: Yeah. What did Cage say?
Glenn: Excuse me, you're in the class?
Ally: Oh, tongue burn. Hello.
Glenn: I am one of the models.
Ally: (Like I didn't know.) Oh yeah. You look familiar. This is Renee. Renee is also in the class.
Glenn: Hi.
Renee: Hey. How's it hung?
Glenn: Okay.
Ally: You look a little different.
Glenn: With clothes on?
Ally: Yeah.
Glenn: So you guys are lawyers?
Renee: How did you know?
Glenn: Oh I could hear you talk.
Ally: I'm sorry. I burned it again.
Glenn: Oh. Let me see it.
Ally: What?
Glenn: Your tongue.
Ally: (How do I get myself into these things?)
Glenn: Yeah, it looks a little scalded. I could take you for a gimlet there then to cool it down. I mean if you feel like it.
Ally: What?
Glenn: You know, on the rocks?

Georgia: You're going out with him?
Ally: Last night you were for it.
Georgia: I'm still for it. Just don't get hurt.
Billy: What's going on?
Georgia: Nothing.
Elaine: Ally has a date with Long John Silver.
Ally: Elaine!
Billy: Look at you all. Can I ask you something? Does size really matter?
Ally: No.
Georgia: No.
Elaine: No.
Renee: All I need.
Billy: So bigger is better?
Ally: No.
Georgia: No.
Elaine: Of course not.
Billy: A bunch of school girls.

Chapter 7
John: I'm not philosophically opposed to you taking a moment. But I don't want to be the object of ridicule.
Ally: John, it was flattery. I've seen how it works for you, so that's why, I think, I tried it. You...
John: What?
Ally: Um, nothing. Is there anything else?
John: It's just one of the things It's not work-related. There's a rumor flying around that you are going out on some date. A man of prowess. It's not my business. But since you and I are having dinner together, which could be construed as ... I find the practicing of dating necessitates a certain measure of dishonesty.
Ally: You do?
John: Yes. People in the throes of early courtship naturally might be seeing several different people. It's not proper etiquette to reference those, those other people while on a date. And as two people converse, they often talk about their week. Um, I played squash. Oh, I tried this case. These are just examples of conversation. My point... You would obviously choose not to tell me about other men you're seeing as I would omit mention about other women on my end. It's possible these omissions could be considered non-assertive lies. I wouldn't want that. We shouldn't hide the fact that we date other people.
Ally: Fine.
John: But of course should you have relations with other men, I would not care to be briefed.
Ally: I understand. Ditto.
John: I'll go and prepare my direct.

Richard: I really wouldn't worry about it, Billy. I mean when you think of it, after women marry and have kids, they don't want any part of men's penis. The bigger it is, the more of him she doesn't want. That's all. Fishism.
Billy: Have you ever measured yourself?
Richard: All the time. Net worth.
Billy: Really, have you ever?
Richard: When I'm still 13. Maybe. You?
Billy: Some like that. Do you ever wonder whether you're really good in bed or not?
Richard: No. I know I'm good.
Billy: How?
Richard: Because I'm always satisfied. Good for me. Yes.

Renee: You are not having a breakdown.
Ally: Then why do I see it?
Renee: The baby?
Ally: Not just a baby, Renee. It dances, it wiggles, it struts around. And this fantasy with my client. He's 19.
Renee: Does he dance, too?
Ally: No, that's just a fantasy. But the baby thing is more like a hallucination. Should I get help?
Renee: No. This is just a tick-tick-tick.
Ally: Tick-tick-what?
Renee: Biological clock. It makes sense. You're fantasizing over a kid in his sexual prime. You're dating John Cage, who is husband material. All the while, sculpting a giant...
Ally: Renee. And what is that about? Isn't it a little disgusting that I could be curious about the guy because he...
Renee: Ally, do you know how many men have been interested in me only because of my big lofty goals?
Ally: It's not the same.
Renee: Why isn't it the same?
Ally: We are women. We have double standards to live up to. Biological clock...

Chapter 8
Clint: He was persistent. He didn't just say slut and walk away.
John: What else did he say?
Clint: Well, he asked how many other guys she'd do that night. He accused her of cheating while they were dating. I mean, he was totally out of line.
John: And you did what?
Clint: I popped him.

Prosecutor: Do you think there were other options available to you, Mr Gil?
Clint: I didn't think about it much.
Prosecutor: You didn't think about it much. You just popped him?
Clint: Well I felt I should stick up for her?
Prosecutor: And that's what you were doing when you popped him?
Clint: Yes.
Prosecutor: He never got physical with you, did he?
Clint: No.
Prosecutor: And where were his hands when you swung him, Mr Gil?
Clint: I guess they were by his side.
Prosecutor: By his side? He never even saw it coming?
Clint: I don't know if he saw it coming. He certainly had it coming.
Prosecutor: And that's why you popped him?
Clint: Yes.

Richard: Twenty bucks. Pick the right round, and you'll win 200.
Georgia: Richard, I hate boxing. Two people trying to kill each other.
Richard: They don't try to kill each other. They just want the other to lose consciousness. It's sport.
Georgia: I don't want in on the pool.
Richard: You like boxing?
Male colleague: Sure.
Richard: Yeah. Friday night is a big fight night. You've got 20 bucks?

Georgia: Hey.
Billy: Hey.
Georgia: Richard was trying to suck me into his boxing pool.
Billy: Do you mind driving in case I have beer?
Georgia: I'll drive.
Billy: We could go early and maybe eat some dinner?
Georgia: It's fine.
Billy: Do I satisfy you in bed?
Georgia: What was the last one?
Billy: Do I? Sexually? In bed?
Georgia: Where did that come from?
Billy: I don't know. I just uh. I don't like taking anything for granted.
Georgia: Our giggling over that model? It's bothering you?
Billy: No! Why would... Well...
Georgia: Billy, I am a very satisfied woman.
Billy: Don't you wish that I was...
Georgia: No! Of all the things you have to be insecure about, that is the least. That didn't come up the way I meant. I am very, very happy in the bed. Trust me.

Chapter 9
Court clerk: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?
Witness: I do.
Court clerk: Be seated.

John: Would you state your name and occupation for the record, Doctor?
Witness: My name is Dr. John Emburg. I'm a clinical psychologist. I also teach anthropology and human behavior at Suffolk University.
Judge: Counsel?
John: I have no questions, Your Honor.
Judge: You have no questions? You brought him in as a witness and you have no questions?
John: I apologize.

Austin: What the hell was that?
John: I know what I'm doing.
Austin: You know what you do... You know what you are doing?
John: I do.
Austin: What? Setting up an appeal for an inadequate counsel? This...
Ally: There is a perfect, good explanation for this.
Austin: What is it?
Ally: Well, he likes to be mysterious. And I think...
Austin: He likes to be mysterious? I pay a lot of money to your firm.
Ally: And there's a reason a big chunk of that goes to him. I'll see you tomorrow for the closings.

Ally: John?
John: Ally.
Ally: Do you know what you're doing?
John: I do.


Chapter 10
Ain't it funny how you're walking through life
And it turns on a dime


Ally: I've never heard of a professional snow boarder.
Glenn: Well, it's not like I make a fortune or anything. But I get to travel.
Ally: And the modeling?
Glenn: It pays a few bills.
Ally: Doesn't it bother you to sit there naked like that?
Glenn: I'm only 27. It's a little early in life to be really bothered.
Ally: Well, I'm 27 and everything bothers me.
Glenn: Why?
Ally: Why?
Glenn: We're single with money, healthy. Plenty ahead of us to get upset about. But now we're in toyland now, aren't we?

Ally: I would have gone to bed with him.
Renee: Excuse me?
Ally: I would have. Not that he asked.
Renee: Do you even remember how?
Ally: I keep a journal.
Renee: Ah. So what? Is this guy potential first husband?
Ally: Oh God. No. We couldn't have less in common. Still...
Renee: Well, these are certainly horny times.
Ally: It has nothing to do with the size of his shoe. I just...
Renee: Just what?
Ally: I don't know. He's cute. He snowboards. He's leaving the country on Sunday.
Renee: Ah. Two ships collide in the night.
Ally: I probably would have resorted to my prudy little self. I might not have. Maybe it's that 19-year-old. He's got me in heat.

Billy: I'm sorry.
Georgia: Oh, sweetie. Don't apologize. That kind of surprise that hasn't happened before. Isn't that kind of things happened to men?
Billy: Not to me. It's stupid. I know. Hey, you know, this has nothing to do with you, you know that.
Georgia: I know.
Billy: Then why do you look like you're about to cry.
Georgia: I'm happy.
Billy: Happy? About what?
Georgia: It's stupid. More stupid than what's going on with you.
Billy: Tell me then. Stupidity loves company.
Georgia: The idea of you being insecure with me, instead of me being insecure with you, feels good. See? It's stupid.

Chapter 11

Ally: Nothing's ticking in me. I don't tick. You hear me? All right. I know you are in here. Where are you? Get out here. I don't want you. I'm not having any baby. You can't make me think I want you whenever I think about sex. Nothing's ticking, and I don't want you. Hi.
Renee: What are you doing?
Ally: Oh, I'm trying to catch that damn baby. He keeps running around in my room.
Renee: Trying to catch him?
Ally: Yes.
Renee: But it's not real.
Ally: It doesn't matter. If I can catch him in my imagination, and I can throw at him, then I can make him go away in my imagination. Since that's where he lives, that will solve the problem, won't it? Oh don't look at me like I'm nuts. I'm not the first person to confront a demon.
Renee: But you are the first person to try an open-field tackle. Okay, maybe it's not a demon. Maybe you should just say hey baby and go with it.
Ally: Go with it?
Renee: This is about your guilt. About wanting to do what you want to do with that model.
Ally: Oh it is not.
Renee: It is.
Ally: Renee, would you stop barging into my room claiming to know me?
Renee: Well, I do know you. And this is your inhibition raising its ugly head, keeping me awake. Go with Glenn. Go with life. And go to sleep.

Chapter 12

Renee: Do I look good or what? Look at my ass!
Ally: I'd love to, really, but I'm late for court.
Renee: So I'm gonna be gone tonight. Will I miss anything?
Ally: Well, if you do, I will let you read my journal.
Renee: Have fun skiing.
Ally: Break a leg.
Renee: Oh, you, too.

Prosecutor: The victim never raised a finger. By the defendant's own testimony, Dwan Stokes's hands were at his side when Clint Gil swung, breaking Dwan Stokes's cheeckbone, crushing the side of his face. This isn't a society that condones violence. Or is it? The defendant didn't like what was being said. So he physically attacked the man. Those facts are indisputable. The only question today is do we tolerate that type of behavior.

John: What was he really to do? The man was verbally assaulting his date. I suppose he could have responded in rhyme, espousing sticks and stones. He could have walked away. Remember I was about to put a psychologist slash anthropologist on the stand. My intent was to introduce evidence as to the essence of human behavior. I tell you, as I looked at this doctor on the stand, I suddenly thought, "Does this jury really need some specialist to educate them as to human nature?" Because that's what happened at this party, ladies and gentlemen. Human nature. Man, any man is part warrior. Certainly we've evolved. We have suits and ties, cell phones. But there are certain primal qualities that will always be there. When I'm 13 years old, I was standing in line at a movie theater. When another boy, slightly larger and ???, cut in front of me, and he said, "What are you doing about it?" Well, I did nothing. And that haunted me. I went on to become president of my chess club, high school valedictorian, law school. I've accomplished a lot, actually. But when I on occasion really define myself, what was always there, what I could not escape was I was a kid who was afraid, afraid to physically stick up for myself. Three years ago, I was at a bar on Causeway Street. It was after a Celtics game. Their play was disappointing. That was irrelevant. What is a man bumped my shoulder, heading for the men's room. He was at fault. He also had wider shoulders. And he said, "Idiot." I said, "Excuse me?" And he repeated, "Idiot." Then he said, "Got a problem?" I said, "Yes. I do have a problem." He said, "Maybe you need some space," and pushed me. Right there, right then, he became the boy at that movie theater and I pushed him back. Then he started to come forward. I knew this was about to be a fight. My first fight. I raised my right hand. Then I remember something my father told me about planting my back foot. I planted it against the leg of a table. And as this man got close and came to hit me, I threw my punch, and I hit him. Right, right on the jaw. He went down. He didn't get up. He just laid there, just holding his jaw. And I stood over him. Well, I've had my successes as a lawyer, I've given money to charities, I've performed public services. That brought me enormous gratification as human being, but as a man, medieval as this may sound, as a man, the most satisfying moment of my life was that punch. Is that noble? I'm sure not. Am I embarrassed about it? Absolutely. But is it a fundamental truth? Yes. A truth of man's human nature. I'm not here before you to condone violence or physical assault. But when a man's with a date and another man attacks her vulgarity, what is he really to do? Go back to that room. And admit a truth to yourselves. You're glad he threw that punch.

Chapter 13
Richard: How did it go?
Ally: The jury is still out, but his closing speech was his best ever. He was fabulous.
Richard: Fabulous.
Ally: And even the kid's father was happy. I mean, the case is still... I thought we agreed we aren't gonna smoke the stink sticks in the office.
Richard & Billy: Fight night!
Richard: Exception.
Billy: Unifying divisions tonight. All three heavyweight belts.
Ally: Oh, gee. Nobody told me that.
Georgia: Ally, please come to dilute all the fun.
Ally: I actually have a...
John: You may say it.
Ally: Date. Tonight I have a date.
Elaine: That was the cloak's office. They already have a verdict.
Ally: Now?
John: Let's go.
Ally: I'm sure this is a good sign. I mean, it has to be.

Ally: I'm fine.
John: What is it you see?
Ally: Excuse me?
John: You were seeing something.
Ally: Oh, well, sometimes I imagine seeing a baby.
John: A baby?
Ally: It dances. I don't know what it means. I guess I'm gonna have to whip out my Freud book.
John: I had a therapist who told me to just confront them.
Ally: Dancing babies?
John: Hallucinations. Dreams. I used to have hallucinations where my dead aunt kept wanting to have tea with me. It went on for two years before I finally stopped her.
Ally: How did you stop her?
John: I had tea with her.

Judge: Will the defendant please rise? Madam ???, you've reached your verdict?
Jury: Yes, Your Honor.
Judge: What say you?
Jury: On the charge of 62321 misdemeanor battery, we find the defendant Clint Gil not guilty.

Clint: Thank you.
Ally: You're welcome.

Gonna dance, gonna dance all night
Gonna dance, gonna dance all night
I could have danced all night
I could have danced all night
And still have begged for more

Ally: I guess this was a victory for Cro-Magnon mankind. Maybe Renee is right. I should just go with it.

I've never done before
I'll never know what made it so exciting
Why all at once my heart took flight

Chapter 14
TV Announcer: With both fighters now in the ring, you can feel the electricity in the air. People have waited a long time for this. ??? Just feel it.
Georgia: I feel it.

Ally: And the other truth is, and I'm only admitting this to you since you're about to leave the country...
Glenn: I understand.
Ally: If I were that girl, and I were at the party and some guy came up to me and started saying those things, I would want my date to rip his head off.
Glenn: You would?
Ally: No. I wouldn't ask him to. And I probably would get mad if he did fight. But if he just walked away, as dignified as that may be, I would probably be a little disappointed.
Glenn: Ah.

TV Announcer: Here we are. The bout that will unify...
Billy: ??? gotta get him early. Come out. ???
Richard: Long fight. Long fight.
John: I believe I have Round One.

Glenn: So do you play?
Ally: I'm learning. Can you play? You probably do.
Glenn: Just "Heart and Soul". Top.
Ally: Bottom.
Glenn: Okay.

Richard: All right. Somebody kill somebody.
John: Preferably in the first round.

Glenn: We are good.
Ally: We are. Can you take it slower?
Glenn: Let's see.

Richard: Stay in the corner. Let him hit you.
John: Take him out. You got him. Take him out.
Richard: Below the belt. Just hit him.
Elaine: Hit him like a man.
John: Somebody hurt him.


Chapter 15
TV announcer: Expected a much longer fight tonight. It was over so fast.
Elaine: Good day for the Biscuit.
John: Yes, indeed.

Ally: Oh. I never imagined myself ever wanting to make love with somebody and not wanting to wake up to him in the morning. And he knew it too. He knew it from the start.

Ugachaka uga uga...

Ally: All right. Come on out. I'm not afraid. Just come right on out. If John Cage can drink tea with his dead aunt. I can certainly dance with you. Get your little cherubic ass out here. All right, Mr Huggy. You wanna dance? Let's go.